Beneath the Undertow
by aftrnoondlight
Summary: Dreams past, circumstance and sacrifice... young Edward and Bella bravely smile through the tears on life's complicated path.  A short journey of pure and true devotion... of choosing love above all else. EPOV M for Language & Lemons
1. Chapter 1

_**Beneath the Undertow**_

**Chapter One**

"Edward…" A familiar voice boomed through the heavy beats of The Bravery.

"Edward…" An ear bud fell suddenly behind my shoulder, I slowly opened tired eyes.

"Sorry, Harry." I righted, squinting into a blazing July sun.

"Edward, Mr. Jenks is in from Portland. He's meeting with a few of the guys later on. Come upstairs after your shift." Harry Clearwater's usual warm eyes were cool, darting and avoiding.

"Harry… what's…" Turning his back, a trembling hand ran over a balding head as he hurried towards the main building. _Fuck. _Thumbing over my simple sandwich on rye, I counted months and a year to date my next evaluation. Nothing matched, _nothing_. I quickly surmised meeting with Mr. Jenks wouldn't result in a raise, a bonus or promised promotion. I swallowed a swig of generic cola and my waning pride. Smoothing over my Thursday message from Bella scribbled in green, reality loomed. I used the silent love note to wipe the fear beading across my forehead.

Steadying with a deep inhale then out, I tossed my brown paper sack and sweet words in the trash. Passing by cliques of all ages, knuckles broken and bare, taking their thirty minutes of respite, Billy shouted across the dry, blazing courtyard. "Cullen, pull up a chair, man. You alright?"

"Hey, Billy." I matched a tight hand grip with an old friend, a mentor on the field, and unlikely peer. "You know anything about Jenks being in town from Portland today?"

"No…" He paused, masking a sigh with a smile as he realized. "Probably just throwing some weight around. I'll walk you in." He rested a strong, sturdy palm on my shoulder. I reactively squared and flexed, grasping the last of my dignity.

"You wanna go an extra hour on Sunday? I've got time. Your slider was looking solid yesterday. You should hit the cage after work though, we're closing in on _the _day." Billy coached, holding the door.

"Okay," I agreed quietly with a sudden shiver of frigid artificial air. My fate forever owned by another, patience was a struggle. Pulling worn gloves from my rear denim pocket, I took the stairs down. Slower by the step, I unrolled and buttoned the cuffs of my flame resistant chambray. The menacing roar of operation barreled through me. Blowing a deep exhale, I reached, lifted and rolled punishing weight and texture over my shoulders, forearms, then hands. Powering levers, shifting, guiding thick timber while I measured the possibilities. My mind drowned in visions… Bella twirling barefoot in a brand new dress, nothing beneath… a perfect, smooth sea blue, clinging to curves… bare sun-kissed shoulders… creamy flesh peppered with freckles begging me to count and kiss. A surprise, wrapped in a paper and a ribbon… her smile beautiful, her dark eyes wide and grateful. A piercing alarm shattered my reverie, reminding to reload, turn and labor. Fisting my leather sheathed hands; I glanced at the ticking time high on the wall. Once, the black numbers and dial counted down moments to hold my wife. Making love at dusk, caressing her growing belly, and eating frozen dinners and fruit in bed. But the passing hours were punishing, other possibilities forced forward. Another loss… another letdown, another dream done and gone, but it would be Bella's to lose not mine.

I twisted the marred, flat white gold band anxiously. Sitting, shifting, rolling my neck in a black vinyl sofa, I waited. A quarter past four came and went. Clearing my throat at the turn of a knob, I stood finally, running a weary hand over stubble I wish I'd shaved.

"Edward Cullen. Well hell…" Mr. Jenks, the younger not the older, strutted within a tight handshake.

"Garrett… I thought your dad was…"

"Come in, Edward." A sweeping gesture welcomed me into his large temporary office. I fell into the small, simple chair in the corner of the drab space. "Shit, how long's it been, man?" Garrett smirked, loosening his grey silk tie.

"Oh…" I shrugged, watching him casually perch on the corner of the cheap laminate desk. "Maybe a year or so." Focusing on the framed forestry posters and safety slogans beyond his full head, I sought to steady.

"Yeah, yeah… okay, that's right. The Jenks Timber summer picnic… with Bella." His smirk led him, treading dangerously. "How is… Bella?"

"She's good." I blurted, suddenly yanking my gloves from my back pocket, slapping them against my denim thigh in warning. "Starting nursing school this fall." _So don't fuck with my job cocky prick. _

He straightened and scoffed. "Huh. Good for her. She deserves…" He paused, moving slowly behind the desk. "She deserves everything."

I launched. Gripping the edge of the desk, white knuckled ready, I clenched. "Garrett, cut to the chase. And leave _my_ _wife_ out of it." He staggered with wide eyes.

"_Cut _to the chase? Cut… Cutter… Ole Cutter Cullen… How's that working out for you now?" He taunted, envy saturating his sound.

"What the fuck do you want? What's the point with this shit, Garrett?"

"The point? You want the point?" He slid into the burgundy chair. Breathing deep, he delivered his final act. "We're restructuring. Starting an apprentice program with the local college. Your job… your level will be…" I interrupted with a palm in the air.

"Was this apprentice program your idea?" Angling my stare, I pushed.

"It's smart, Edward. A progressive plan. I'm… sorry." He rested his forearms, folded his hands, finished.

"Sorry? That's it? I'm done? You can't move me into another area? Another group?" I loathed the desperation.

"What else can you do? I mean really, Edward." My knees buckled, he tortured. "If you'd just headed to UW with that sweet scholarship…" He narrowed his eyes, curling his thin mouth, patronizing.

I buried my face briefly, pounding my bottom lip with my fist. "Do I get two weeks to find something else?" Silence. "Okay."

"Listen, Edward…" Garrett Jenks rushed and stumbled in designer shoes. "I know you and Bella have had a rough time. But, this… this is business." His large hand landed against the door, blocking.

"Got it. Now get the fuck out of my way so I can go home and hold _my_ _wife_."

Locked, hidden, raging with damp eyes, I slammed the blue stall wall. Rolling my forehead against the cool metal surface, an angry exhale morphed into a shiver. A tremble buried deep in my gut, a reaction to the nightmare. Thoughts of the next day and the day after, numbers on paper that wouldn't compute. _Fuck. _Bella's tuition, even more fundamental than that… Dark, beautiful eyes, masking the depth of her own worry and fear. My steel toed boot joined my fist, pounding and kicking away all the energy left.

"Sure, yeah. Book the suite. Whatever you want, I don't give a shit. We're not leaving the room all weekend anyway. Do they have one of those big ass tubs with the jets like that other lodge?" Again, the words and voice seeped like poison. I waited, composing, until he left with his expensive phone and my worthless future.

~BtU~

The Meadow was always the most peaceful at dusk; just before the iron scrolled gates were locked for the night. We had a schedule, a plan that never included Thursdays, but I was there. The edge of a large white tent flapped through a midsummer breeze, freshly pitched apparent by the thick rows of pale blooms and folding chairs.

"_Bella, you have to get dressed." I found her naked, curled on our double bed clutching her pale pink bra to her still swollen stomach. _

"_No." She stared through the window. Kicking off my old dress shoes, I melted in behind her, caressing long dark waves from her weary face. _

"_We have to do this for him," I whispered firmly against her smooth, damp cheek. She gasped, sobbing. "I know…" Holding tighter as she shook. _

"_I want him to come back. He needs to come back, Edward. We love him. I'll sing to him…" She turned in my arms, staring desperately, willing me to make the pain disappear. _

"_Shhh…" _

"_You held him. I didn't hold him… Why didn't I hold him?" _

_I searched, hoping for the right words. "You couldn't. But he knew you were there." _

"_I should've…" She mumbled softly against my white shirt. "I'm sorry." I framed her face with our joined hands. _

"_He's gone, baby. We need to let him rest today…" Several quiet moments passed, we watched new snow fall, gathering outside our small, borrowed house. She unlaced our fingers and sat slowly. Her delicate straps slid up and over, holding the lace behind for me to connect. _

"_Edward…" _

"_Hmmm…" I dusted, soothing over her shivering back. _

"_Nothing fits… I… have to wear my… my maternity clothes to… our baby's funeral." _

I steeled, my head respectfully hung low as I paced up the green hill. Assured the quietest of plots, sweet silence under the massive ancient oak tree. I cleared tiny twigs, dried leaves and droppings from the rusting vase secured by a linked chain. Two long trembling fingers and a curled thumb gripped the white smudged leather and red thread. I pinched, squeezed the old baseball as I leaned closer to the marble headstone. Dropping it into the narrow mouth of the vase, my fingers then trailed to the engraving that haunted my dreams.

_Riley Anthony Cullen  
><em>_January 29, 2009_

One day, not through… the beginning and the end.

"So this ball, this one's from the Senior State Championships. I think it was the hottest ever… a record high in Washington. Your mommy was so damn gorgeous that day." I paused to chuckle, a favorite image of Bella soothing my memory. "You were just starting to show. Not a lot, but everyone could see. She was so proud, _finally._ She had this white dress on… like a sundress, real short. Glowing. And her hair…" Blowing hard through puckered lips, I stared away, fighting. "Okay, little man, I know you want the game scoop, don't you…" My monologue routine, I detailed each and every inning, always peppering with visions of Bella. He needed those parts too, the best parts.

"I lost my job today, Riley." The reality slid off my tongue easily, I could tell my baby boy any and all. "Your mom doesn't know yet. Not sure how I'm going to…" I broke, the grassy earth caught me. I thumbed the small, silver disk of his initials and day hanging from a dark leather cord around my neck. Somber, silent, I let truth settle.

~BtU~

"Emmett, what's going on, man?" A fist bump over a wide, mahogany bar was our typical greeting. A cool bottle budgeted for pay day brought me to an old friend every other week. The Cliff was crowded for a Monday, pool players and booths full.

"What're you here on a Thursday for, Edward? You bring that beautiful wife of yours?" Emmett grinned, twisting a cap off my usual. A white terry towel flung across his broad shoulder, his eyes sparkled at the mention of Bella. She had that effect on everyone. Some I knew was sympathy, pity, but mostly it was simply her.

"Nope, she's home. Been a long day, thought I'd cool off before I head home," I explained sipping slow.

"You alright, Cullen?" Emmett shouted as a crowd moved through the door.

"Oh yeah. I'm good. Just…"

"Cutter Cullen! What the fuck, man? How the hell are ya?" Seth Young tackled me from behind. I spun, righting for a masculine embrace. My former teammate sized me up, as my ego plummeted to the sticky bar floor. "Damn it's good to see you." Seth grabbed me into another rough wrangle.

"What about you, Young? The big guns, huh? Shit. The Cubbies… The Chicago fucking Cubs." We laughed, knocking my scabbed elbow to his tight bicep.

"Buy me a drink…" Seth joked, I stiffened.

"Sure… sure." I raised my beer towards Emmett indicating the next and then some as we fell into a corner booth. "How long you in town for? You're off for the All-Star break or what?"

"Yeah, just the weekend. Thought I'd come home and hug my mom…eat some decent food."

"Oh shit, please." I scoffed. Emmett brought drinks and lingered.

"Damn it's good seeing you two together again…" He shook his head exasperated at time, circumstance. I silently agreed. Staring into Seth's eyes from the dusty, clay mound was my life aside from Bella. My catcher, we were a team. Big plans, hopes, and wishes, we shared, but only he realized. "Seth, you know Edward's gonna hit up the Mariner's open tryouts next week." _Goddammit, Emmett. _

Seth leaned, twisted back against the dark green vinyl. The expression he wore was familiar. "Edward…" I quickly swigged, waving to dismiss.

"No big deal, man. It's not. I swear." Forcing a chuckle, I tapped the neck of his bottle, encouraging him to move on.

"It _is _a big deal. What the hell are you talking about? You've been training your ass off." Emmett pushed, confused. "Your fastball is fucking incredible right now. And shit, Seth you should see his cutter."

"Yeah, we've all seen his cutter…" Seth smirked, wide eyed.

"Can I use the bar phone, man? I need to check on Bella." I interrupted, shoving lightly in warning. Emmett slid into my seat as I stalked away.

"Hey, baby. Where are you?" Bella's sweet voice calmed.

"Oh… I… I ran into Seth at the… gas station on fourth."

"Seth… Young?" She asked excitedly.

"The one and only." I leveled a mock salute towards the booth.

"Oh my god. Give him a hug for me."

"Anyway, I offered… _he_ offered to buy me a drink over at The Cliff."

"Aww, that sounds good, baby. You need to relax more. I'll just eat a bowl of cereal for dinner then. Have fun."

"I love you… I love you so much." Tangling the curled phone cord in my blistered hand, I balanced my heightened emotion.

"I love you too. Oh hey, can you stop over at Meyer's Grocery and pick up a dozen cupcakes on your way home? They have those pre made vanilla frosted ones in the bakery."

"For what?" I snapped, mentally counting the contents of my wallet.

"Jesus." She paused. "Because we're having a little welcome thing for the new coach tomorrow in the school lounge. I signed up for dessert. Is that a problem?"

I breathed. "No… course not. I'm sorry. I mean, I do have a problem with the way Coach Banner checks you out…" She giggled flirtatiously, my favorite.

"Shut up. You're crazy. Besides, you already own the sweet ass and perfect tits he stares at everyday."

"Bella, I swear… I better not find that pumped up fucker loitering in the school office." I played along, watching Seth angling and gesturing hits, swings and style. My heart ached.

"Drive safe, baby."

An attractive, dark haired young woman was snuggled into Seth's side when I returned. "Edward, this is my fiancé, Carmen." Surprised, I shook her manicured hand, a large diamond sliding between us.

"I've heard a lot about you, Edward." She beamed bleached teeth behind heavily glossed lips. "All good though," she squeaked. I mirrored her smile and finished my beer. Seth's expression was pensive as he stroked down her thin, tan arm. He studied my knuckles, hands, almost wincing.

"Listen, you've been through…" Seth spoke low. "It's been a rough go for you, man… for Bella too. Are you sure you want to put yourself out there like this again? I'm talking straight up here, Edward." Carmen watched doe-eyed, eager.

"Like what? I know the drill and I know the chances. Billy asked, I'm doing it. I've got nothing to lose, Seth. Nothing." My stomach tightened.

"What does Bella say?"

"She doesn't know… yet." I pursed my lips and shook my head. Carmen squirmed slightly, distracting Seth. He whispered something in her ear, she disappeared. "Getting married?" I taunted, diverting the conversation.

"Yeah, December. Can you believe it?"

"Sure. Why not? Being married is… it's the best."

"The best?" He chuckled, shifting. "You got the _best_ girl, Cullen. That's for fucking sure." He held his bottle in the air toast, then rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. "Rookie… Single A farm team… You sure about this?"

I tensed, over the analysis. "Hey, gotta start somewhere. It's just for fun, man. Seriously knock it off."

"I just don't want to see you… down again. You deserve better, Edward. How's things over at Jenks?" I fell back, tossing a bowl of peanut shells across the pine table.

"Well you'll never guess who fired my ass today?" I laughed, scoffing masking my embarrassment. "Garrett Jenks. Cocky motherfucker."

"No shit. I bet he asked about Bella… huh?" We shared a knowing smirk, then his face fell. "They let you go?"

"Restructuring." Carmen slid back in position, spilling from her black tank top. "I'll find something else."

"Baby, I'm tired," she purred, pecking Seth's neck, then rubbing the color away. Smiling, he glanced between us.

"You still working out with Billy at the school field?"

"Yeah, yep Sunday afternoons. He hasn't changed either, still brings that damn red bucket to sit on."

"How 'bout I come out and catch a bit for you? We don't fly out 'til Monday morning."

"Ah, man, you don't have to."

"I'm sure he wants to, don't you, baby?" Carmen said quietly.

"I do, definitely. Let's see this fastball Emmett's swearing by." They stood, I stayed. Promises of a Sunday reunion at the field were our parting words. The volume of empty bottles suddenly tallied, I threw my thin leather wallet down. _Shit. _

"What's the damage, Emmett?" I asked anxiously.

"Zero, man. Seth took care of it." He busied squaring bottles and tightening caps. I kicked at a barstool with my boot and shoved a five dollar bill into the full tip jar. "Edward…" He shouted after me as I made my escape. "I didn't mean to put that out there…"

"No… it's fine. Probably won't do it anyway. I have to get some shit sorted first."

"Don't give up, man. You know I've been there. If anyone deserves a second chance it's you, Cullen."

"Thanks. I appreciate that, Emmett. But, right now, I need to go home and love on my girl."

~BtU~

The bedroom lamp glow filtered through the thin cotton curtains. After draining the final can of six more while parked in the driveway, I rolled up my truck window, wincing. I wiped the humid moisture off my face, forehead and neck and fell through the rusty door. Meandering towards our front porch, I knew the night was late and problems weren't solved. A quiet stumble down the hallway, I followed the pale light to our room. Pushing open the door, I took in the white sheet twisted around my favorite bare, long legs. Admiring and roaming up the view to her pale blue cotton panties peeking where my worn jersey had ridden high. She had a sleepy grip on an old cheap paperback. _Coven of Forbidden Love_, water stained and torn, settled between her hips. Undoubtedly the fourth or fifth read, I made a mental note to stop at the library for her.

Absorbing the innocence and peace, I stalked closer. I kicked off my steel toed boots from sore feet, pulled my standard issue Jenks Timber shirt over my head and tossed it far in the corner. Unbuttoning and shoving down my jeans, I reached the edge of our bed, carefully sliding in next to Bella. Gently tugging the novel away, I teased up the length of her arm, down her chest over the swells of pert breasts, feeling under the peeling team numbers.

She reactively nuzzled when I wrapped around. Placing wet, soft kisses down the warm flesh of her neck, she hummed along my naked shoulder… then startled. "Baby… no. You smell like swill and…" She grumbled, wrinkling her nose and leaning away. "You didn't leave the cupcakes in your truck did you? Remember what happened on your dad's birthday last…"

"Fuck." I fell defeated back into my pillow, roughly rubbing my eyes.

"I'll go out and get them." I quickly pulled her wrist, stopping her from looking for something that wasn't there. She stared, knowing. "You forgot."

"I'm sorry," I mouthed, dusting her knuckles with pouting lips. She twisted her mouth and rolled her beautiful, dark eyes. Lying back, arms stretched overhead as she sighed in frustration.

"I'll just get up early with you in the morning and stop on my way. Thank god tomorrow's Friday… and payday. Did you blow your beer budget tonight with Seth?" Truth avoided as I hovered. My hands smoothed over the heated skin of her taut middle, thumbing along and under the thin edge of her panties. I grazed her jaw, nipping and tasting.

"Edward…" She whispered sympathetically. "I'm tired. I had to inventory everything in the science department and the Dean's office today. I mean… I…" Tugging her plump bottom lip between my teeth was an attempt to hush and ignite. She freed, squirming slightly, my erection waning between her thighs. "I can just… I'm here… if you want…" I exhaled, resting my forehead against hers.

"It's okay." Twisting the small, black pin on the lamp, we drifted into darkness… a safe place where my secrets could rest.

**A/N**

**Thanks very much for reading xo  
><strong>  
><strong>We're excited that you found us over here at aftrnoondlight. Big thanks to our lovely and very sharp pre-readers Obsmama and FFpassion. We appreciate the support, detailed feedback and suggestions. xxoo<br>**  
><strong>Hugs to St. Kristen for the great research sources xx<br>**  
><strong>Sweet thanks to the madly talented viiolentdelights for the gorgeous Beneath the Undertow banner. Please take a peek at it on our profile page. <strong>  
><strong>This story will run three chapters and conclude with a short epilogue of HEA. We'd love to hear your thoughts on the sweet young couple or just say hi...<strong>

**Chapter 2 will be posted on Sunday. Have a wonderful weekend.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Beneath the Undertow**_

**Chapter Two **

Lilacs and vanilla, silky strands tickled as gentle kisses peppered over my chest. "You didn't even hear your alarm, sleepy head. Are you hung over?" She suddenly straddled, naked, fresh from the shower. "You can't be late for your shift."

Forcing through the haze, I playfully squeezed her ass and rotated at her center. "I'm up, see… feel," I teased with a raised brow. Her lashes fluttered, her hips rocked reactively. Biting her lip, she tugged lightly on the charm and leather cord around my neck to balance.

"We don't have time," she said, escaping.

I strengthened my grasp on her ass and thigh. "It's been so long, baby." We stared knowing, hurting. She shook her head lightly and moved off towards the closet to dress. I inhaled her pillow, watching.

"Oh, I ironed your work shirt," she said proudly, knotting her hair. "I'm leaving now, I guess." I sat to meet her at the end of the bed. "You seriously need to get moving."

"I will, I will. Since when do school secretaries wear tight, white, short shorts?" My fingers danced behind her knees and higher. I tugged the hem of her shorts dramatically.

"It's summer, relax." She kissed the tip of my nose. "That reminds me, tuition is due the first of August."

"Is it already? That's only two weeks."

"I know, I'm so excited. Billy said Sue's put a good word in for me at the hospital, just for something part time. Get my foot in the door…" Tucking into my lap, she kissed my temple, with a secure hold around my neck. "Thank you, baby, for letting me go to school first."

"Of course," I paused, steadying. "It was always the plan after Ri…" She tenderly traced the blisters on my palms.

"What's the matter, Edward? What is it?" She urged, finally cupping and angling my face. "You know it's not a big deal about the cupcakes, right? And you know Coach Banner's happily married…" Dipping her head, raising her eyes… teasing felt like patronizing. My secret left me sensitive, vulnerable, agitated. Breathing deep to stifle reaction, I calmed. Pushing damp tendrils behind ears wearing small silver hoops, my smile reassured.

"Goddamn, you're beautiful when you're sweaty." My nonsense earned a joyful jab to the abdomen. "I'm serious, why is it so fucking hot in this house?"

"I'm… conserving. A.C.'s expensive." A sudden kiss on my mouth, she flew out and away. "Don't forget to deposit the paycheck at lunch. Love you…"

~BtU~

"Whoa, Jessica, lookin' good… and ready. When are you due again?" The receptionist at the front desk blushed and looked towards her appointment screen. Always away, the topic of due dates and babies made any and all look away.

"August 10th," she answered flatly. "Does your dad know you're coming? He's got a surgery scheduled for eleven." I tapped and rolled my wrist over the tall partition, already anxious.

"No, he doesn't, actually. I'm off work today… thought I'd surprise him." Dusting over an old blue Yankee t-shirt, I shrugged casually in an attempt to settle. She held her finger up, smiling and buzzed back.

"Go ahead," she mouthed and motioned. I knocked twice, twisting the handle to the private office in the back. My dad closed a pen and folder before tilting back in his leather chair. Shoving my hands into denim pockets, I squared my shoulders, bracing.

"Why aren't you at work?"

I scoffed and glanced through the large window. "Good to see you too."

"Seriously, son, it's Friday morning. Why aren't you at the mill?" He pushed; his narrowed eyes penetrated my aching pride.

"I think you could probably guess, Dad. You're a smart man." I challenged, desperately wanting to get past the inevitable. He glared.

"When?"

"Yesterday." I smirked, slowly sitting down across his desk. "That son of a bitch Garrett Jenks did the deed. I would've preferred the old man."

"Edward…" He gestured a warning, then leaned forward resting on praying hands. "What's your plan?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't know. Bella's tuition is due soon." He ran through his light, short hair, gripping the ends in growing anger. Staring over his shoulder at the myriad of family photographs framed carefully in black, childhood bliss taunted me. Tall shoulders, trophies, high fives and smiles… I was their one and only.

"Well sitting here in my office isn't very productive for you." His tone and words cut.

"Okay… I see this was a bad idea." I stood abruptly, wanting to disappear. "I just needed some help, some goddamn help," I mumbled.

"What the hell do you want from me, Edward? You're already living in your grandmother's house for free." Raising his voice to stop my exit. "You've made your bed, son. You're going to have to deal with it. And so does Bella." I broke.

"How fucking dare you? Do you have any idea what she's been through?" I was shouting, shaking.

"Yes, I do. We all lived it. But you're twenty-one years old now. This is _your _life. _You _need to deal with it." He tensed; I slammed my hand on the corner of his desk, pointing too close.

"If my son had lived an hour… one fucking hour… I would have given him more than this." I seethed, intentionally spewing the worst. His clear blue eyes, widened before dampening.

"Your mother and I did everything… spoiled and supported and… for what? So you could knock up you high school sweetheart, give up a scholarship? All your god-given talent wasted… Goddamn wasted."

I staggered backwards to the door. "I love her. We loved our baby. I'd choose them over my fucking glove… forever. Go to hell. I don't need anything from you."

"_Babe, fuck… my shoulder…" Groaning and rotating the effects of hours at the practice field, I shifted. _

_Our eyes met, knowing. "Sorry… I guess it's too soon," she whispered. _

"_I'm not making excuses." Independence fireworks exploded and sizzled in the park down the block. Six months and some sad days later… _

"_Why?" She slowly pulled up the straps of her green nightgown. _

"_Why what?" I leaned against the pine headboard rolling my head in exasperation. "Stop it, baby." _

"_No... really, why? You're dad offered to pay for UW now. You can still walk on the team. You'll get drafted, everyone knows it, you know it." The condition was to leave her behind, words so old and used. She pulled on her panties and her knees to her chest. I feathered down her pale, perfect cheek with the back of my knotted hand, soothing and reassuring. _

"_We were getting married anyway, remember? Remember our plan?" I mirrored her smile at the memory. "Riley wasn't part of that plan, but he needs us to be together… I need us to be together." She suddenly melted into my side. Her warm fingers twisting through the fine hair on my chest, kisses followed. Silent tears trailed towards her chin. _

"_He's gone…" _

_Wincing through the physical ache, reminding that I was alive, I lifted her within a breath. My thumbs smoothed down her jaw, drying the salty drops. "I'm here, Bella… I'm not going anywhere, ever. Do you understand that?" Mirroring her grateful smile, our mouths grazed and I whispered love against swollen lips. _

~BtU~

Over… across the seams…

Rotate… together…

Thumb tight…

Pinch… inside…

Snap…

"Motherfucker," I groaned. Exhaling through a clenched jaw as I reached for another. Cheap beer swirled, punishing my head and gut. Tall yellow lights blinded against the late night sky, perspiration dripped into my blurred sight.

Repeat. And again. Faster. Fucking faster.

The denim I wore restricted, my knees covered in dust and clay. I pulled the t-shirt over my head, twisted the leather cord to hang at my back. Digging in, steady, sturdy I twisted the toe of my running shoe, drew up my knee… fire…

"Ball one," a voice shouted in the distance. I sheltered my eyes for a view. Seth moved towards the field's edge with a well-earned swagger. "That's junk, Cullen."

"Thanks," I mumbled and waved sarcastically. "Slumming it tonight?"

"Just driving by." I watched silently as he crouched behind home plate, taunting. "Show me…"

"Bare handed?"

"Sure." He smirked, ready.

"Well, aren't you the badass." I launched, he caught, cringing slightly.

"Seen better. Tighten the fuck up." He corralled used pitches around his feet.

"Oh really?" My arm vibrated as I powered through another… then another.

"Sloppy. Settle down, man."

"Fuck you." I pulled my glove off. Running a filthy hand over my mouth, I reached for the beer can planted in the clay.

"Where's Bella, Edward?" I began again, surprising. He lost his balance with narrowed eyes.

"Home... sleeping."

"And you're on the mound, wasted, throwing shit." He stood, I rushed. A cathartic scuffle, shoving, pushing… equaling nothing. Seth caught me at his waist, tumbling lower. Letting me fall, hitting the bottom, he watched patiently. I heaved worthless, his hand rested, supporting my shoulder.

~BtU~

"Why's she on the porch?" I wondered anxiously. Bella sat barefoot, peach tank clinging from the dense heat. Stumbling out of Seth's rental car, he paced ahead to greet, hug and whisper an explanation. She nodded, he pecked her forehead.

"I'm gonna see you Sunday. Sober." He sighed at the bottom stair. A light fist to my chest and he was gone. Bella and I stared.

"Are you drunk?"

"I'm fine. Why are you out here, it's dark. I don't like you out here alone."

"The power's out." She shrugged, looking away. "It's actually cooler out here."

"What are you talking about?" I pushed through the front door... darkness.

"Did you drop off the payment?" She followed with our only flashlight, her tone measured, weary. I slid down the wall near the open front window, burying my head in my hands. "Fucking tell me, what the hell is going on with you?" She stood, arms crossed, deserving answers.

"No."

"No… you forgot? Or no… you couldn't?"

I paused to compose, process. "We fell behind. Your registration was due, now tuition. I thought we'd get at least... like thirty days…"

"Edward!" She dropped the small red flashlight, as she palmed over her eyes.

"I didn't want to disappoint you. You've been so fucking excited about school. We _need_ you to go to school." I shouted, then regretted as she kneeled in front of me.

"Look at me. Baby, you better fucking look at me," she demanded, squaring my jaw. "I've never been disappointed in you. Ever. Don't keep anything from me." I leaned into her cradling hand. "We're in this together. I love you."

"I got fired yesterday." It rolled easily. I breathed heavy watching her expression. She fell back on her ass, mouth parted in surprise. "I'm sorry, Bella."

~BtU~

I jerked awake from the sound of the telephone piercing though the silent house. In only my boxers, I slid off the worn tapestry sofa, lost to the time of day. Hurrying down the short hallway towards the kitchen, I noticed. A door forever closed, wasn't. Our baby's room, open and empty. I willed myself inside, breathing in the quiet. What would have been filled with life and love, laughter and peace was bare. No boxes, no baskets… Confused, I couldn't make sense, more than two years; suddenly she had a need to clear.

The ringing looped over, I ran hoping. "Bella?"

"No, no it's Billy. I just got the final tryout info. You're on the mound, Friday at two." My eyes glazed, I used the doorframe to support. "Edward? This is it, son."

"Yeah… no, it's good. Thanks, Billy."

As the late afternoon sun fell, I'd made the last of anxious calls to find Bella. I straightened rooms and rugs in the sweltering heat as the day wore on. Images of Riley's room punished as I worried that she was alone in the hurt. Boxes sealed and still, sat on the wood planked floor for so long, step by slowest step we moved to the next phase of our grief.

Determined she'd find her way home eventually, I was forced to forego our traditional pizza night, pouring a bowl of cereal instead. Through the top half of a cheap bottle of left over wine, I finished washing the few dishes left in the sink and swept the floor. As night fell I sipped slower and hunted for candles.

"Edward…"

"Here. I'm here…" I moved quickly down the hall towards the dark front room. "Where've you been?"

"I…" She scanned the small room, curling her beautiful mouth into a sweet smile. "What's with the candles?"

I shrugged, smirking. "I couldn't find the flashlight." Rolling my wrist behind my back, I tossed it on the sofa. She angled her head, pursing her lips with an arched brow.

"Yeah? What are you hiding?" Gesturing towards me, quizzing playfully. I slowly closed the distance, grabbing her hands, our bodies flush. Her head tilted back as I gently pressed us against the wall. Laced fingers braced above along the stucco, our lips slightly parted, her eyes fell shut.

I skimmed the length of her graceful neck. "I missed you today," I whispered with soft kisses over glistening skin. Releasing hands, I cupped the sides of her face, teasing my thumbs over flushed cheeks until she met my stare. Grasping the white cotton of my t-shirt, she tugged, pulling me closer still. "Are we okay?"

"Stop talking."

"K..." I caught her lower lip, sucking gently as my fingers gently tangled in her mussed, chestnut hair. Our tongues tangled slowly as she dusted over my waist with needy hands. She gasped lightly as my hardening length grew against her middle. I rested my forehead to hers, savoring.

"Come on." I started backwards, lifting a cream candle from the trunk table. Bella's fingers hooked in the back of my jeans as we made our way awkwardly down the hall. Neither willing to let go…

**A/N  
><strong>  
><strong>Thanks very much for reading xo<br>**  
><strong>Huge thanks to our wonderful pre-readers Obsmama and FFpassion. xxoo<br>**  
><strong>We really appreciate the your messages, reviews, tweets and RT's. <strong>

**We'd love to hear from you...**

**Chapter 3 will be posted on Tuesday. Happy Mother's Day.**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Beneath the Undertow**_

**Chapter 3**

I stopped at the end of the bed, the lone candle flicker lit a path of tender kisses across her pale cheeks, closed eyes, and finally her plump, waiting mouth. "I'm sorry…" Warm fingers on lips silenced my desperate apology.

"Not now…" Gliding hands, feeling and wanting, discovered bare skin underneath each others shirts. We tugged and lifted, parting only enough to remove and stare. She quickly slipped out of her shorts and panties, I reactively palmed my erection. Sitting, wide eyed perfection on our pale green quilt, her long legs teased over the edge. I parted her thighs and stood between. She trailed up and down my cock through heavy denim, biting her lip, taunting and seductive. "Fuck, Bella."

Unbuttoned, unzipped… my wife pushed down and freed me. I stood exposed, beyond the physical. She softly squeezed as I throbbed, her tongue wet the length of her lower lip as she urged me closer. I suddenly felt the warmth of her mouth surround my tip and my favorite beautiful brown eyes gazing through dark lashes was almost my immediate undoing. Clenching my hands, I attempted control as soft, slow licks tortured.

Fingers caressed, then gripped as she took me deeper. The sensations overwhelmed, I tangled into her hair for balance and connection. Cradling gently, I tugged on her silky brown strands while rubbing small circles just behind her ears. I groaned, she hummed… vibrating through my length.

With the delicious swell of heat set in motion, I fought the urge to release. "Baby, I need to be inside you, it's been too long." My hands smoothed forward over her cheeks, as I pulled my hips back. I watched my cock erotically slide from her mouth, her tongue swirled as her eyes fluttered. She playfully smirked an invitation as she leaned back on her elbows.

"I'll never have enough of you." Intimate with only each other, we were forever confident in our passion. Lying open, her pale skin stroked with pink, taut rosy nipples and begging eyes… she wanted. I kneeled between her thighs; rough hands pushed her knees further. The sweet scent of her arousal taunted as I slid up towards her center. Reactively she lifted one leg to my shoulder, as I leaned forward and spread her gently.

Our eyes met as I tasted. Long lashes rested on flushed cheeks, she twisted and pulled me further into her warmth. "Baby… more…" Hips rolled as she withered from the intensity of sucks and twirls. I slid two fingers into her wet heat, pumping a slow, perfect pace. Her legs tightened, she fell back on the cool cotton sheets. "Edward…" She moaned as she tipped. Her trembling hands held my head still as she rode the waves against my tongue.

I peppered her body with soothing, open mouthed kisses, dipping into her navel over her abdomen up to her breasts. Hovering, our lips grazed, sharing a breath. "Baby, you're so fucking beautiful." We stared knowingly. Surrendering to the nightmare of loss and challenges of reality, passing time easily multiplied. Her needy whimpering and undulating hips spurred me on. Working back down, I sucked and nipped one nipple, then the other, her fingers digging and grasping.

As I righted, standing again between her legs, she tugged at her taut peaks, wet from my sweet assault. I gripped my cock at the base, stoking myself once, then again.

"Fuck, Edward. Baby, please…" She twisted towards me in hot frustration.

I placed her smooth leg at my shoulder and lined myself, slowly pushing forward. We gasped together through the moment. Tender kisses at her ankle, I urged her other leg around my hip, bracing me close. Deep breaths steadied my impulse to pound and rush.

"Please, Edward." she mouthed, gripping the bed beneath her. Quickly finding a fevered rhythm, thrusting and swiveling, she arched and met.

"Is that what you want, baby?" I whispered.

She nodded, fisting through her own mussed hair. "Yes… god, yes." Each push, each pull was harder than the last. Our need was deep; there would be time later for tender. My muscles flexed, tense watching her build and rise. Quivering, her mouth parted as she climaxed, then floated. Dark, wide eyes gazing at our connection, while I pumped frantic and erratic, pacing her hips over my pulsing cock.

"Bella…"

Dropping her leg, I caught myself just above her glistening body. My forehead fell to her heaving chest. I smiled, blissfully sated over a racing heartbeat, as her fingers tangled in my damp hair. Trailing my hand along her neck, I gently dusted over her naturally blushed cheek. Then thumbing her swollen lips, she puckered and wrinkled her nose. We kissed slow and mellow, winding and lost in each other.

"Can we talk now?" I propped on an elbow, as she settled back.

"Okay."

"Where were you today?" I asked quietly, running measures of her hair between my knuckles.

She sighed, staring at the ceiling. "Bella, answer me. I was worried." She met my eyes, frowning slightly.

"I called your mom this morning."

"Why?" I paused, softly tasting the inside of her wrist.

"I wanted… I needed to take..." she whispered, sitting. "She met me at that consignment shop on Rose Street. You know the one her friend from church owns?"

"Did you take the rest of his things?" I comforted, smoothing down her bare back. She nodded silently, facing away with a light shiver. "Hey, hey…" Pulling her to lay at my chest, I framed her face, forcing a reassuring smile.

"The woman gave me cash for the clothes," her voice trailed, she stared towards the burning flame on the side table. "It was pretty awful."

I pinched her chin for attention. "Why didn't you wake me up to go with you?"

"You were sleeping so hard. It was time. I don't know, I just felt…" She ran fingertips over my eyebrows, down my nose, over my lips. "Your mom offered to take me a while ago."

"How was she?"

"She's good, Edward… really misses you. You know, she was so sweet the whole morning. Just that quiet way... that way she has about her. I needed it… today." She paused, twisting her mouth. "And I took the cash payment to the utility center downtown afterwards." She rolled on her back, covering her eyes. "Power should be back on by Monday morning."

Running a rough, punishing hand over my face, I stood and pulled on my jeans. "Edward… don't be mad. I was…" Bella reached for me.

"No, I'm not mad… I just… I wish he was still here. That's all. I wish everyday… he was still here."

We embraced suddenly; I sat and pulled her into my lap. "I do too…" Forcing my stare, cradling my face, we lingered in the heavy moment. "I really do too. I wish things were different. Everything. But…"

"We'll have another baby one day. You know that, right?" I laid her back, hovering gently.

"I hope so." She breathed, grazing my cheek. "But right now…" I buried into the base of her neck, inhaling her thick, honeyed hair, damp from the heat. "We have to deal… And… I don't know…" Staring, listening, I braced for the rest. "I think nursing school can wait… and don't argue." I smirked, biting playfully at the finger she pointed.

"You're _going _to school," I said in mock warning. Pulling me tight down towards her, sweet, grateful pecks warmed briefly deeper. "Would you ever move away… from Forks?"

She sighed, narrowing her eyes. "Would you be moving with me?" Tickling fingertips grazed my bare sides.

"Shhh… of course." I smoothed over her swollen lips with mine. "I'm serious, baby. If I found a job somewhere else. Could you leave?"

"You mean… leave him, don't you?" She whispered, I nodded. Grasping the engraved oval around my neck, she smiled.

~BtU~

Moving through the hot haze to the lowest bleacher, I pulled tight, tense muscles across my chest. Gripping and rotating my throwing shoulder to soothe pain and nerves. I slid a sly glance towards my former high school dugout. Unfamiliar experts held court with radar guns and clip boards. Whispers and wide eyes were the only gauge or indication. Bending blistered knuckles once… twice, a welcomed pain radiated as I opened my black equipment bag.

"Edward…" Billy hushed, standing near. "Christ, do you have any idea?" I smirked and shrugged, masking my anticipation.

"Don't play games with me, son. You know what you threw. Holy shit!" He shook his head, grinning. I shoved my glove in, following him from the field. Scanning the parking lot, for Bella's old Honda, I rushed. "You didn't tell her, did you?" Billy joked.

I smiled and rolled my eyes, adjusting the weighted bag strap up and over. His laughter bellowed, increasing suddenly. He generously fisted against my bicep and pointed in front of us. Bella was perched on the gate of my truck bed, swinging her legs. Fatherly palming my jaw, Billy's taunting laughter morphed into serious sigh. "I'm proud of you, Edward." We both looked towards Bella. "I've got a real good feeling about this. You're a helluva young man." A playful slap to my sunburned cheek was his gestured good bye.

"Hey, Billy," I shouted after him. "Whatever happens… you know with it all… Thanks, man… and hey… I'll be here Sunday." He leveled a side salute, nodding.

I paced slower as I reached the angry beauty waiting. Her lean, sun freckled arms were crossed defensively over the top of her cream sundress. Angling her head, she prepared her tirade. "Oh, hello." I immediately sensed the smile beneath. Dropping my bag, I tucked into a short dark t-shirt sleeve, wiping my damp mouth. She spun my sweat soaked baseball cap backwards on my head, leaving me hopeful. "So I was just sitting at my desk in the front office, minding my own business…"

"Uh-huh…" I leaned in, she scoffed back. We played our parts.

"…and Coach Banner stopped by. You know for our afternoon flirt session." We mirrored each other's dramatically raised brows.

"Really… well that must be your favorite time of day." The tease waged on.

"Yes. Then suddenly, these old guys walked in wearing all this obnoxious Mariner's shit." She rolled her eyes; I smirked, pulling her hand to my mouth. "They were going back and forth with Coach Banner about being scouts and on and on about a tryout or something crazy like that." Peppering kisses over her knuckles, I urged her to continue.

"Go on…"

"Coach Banner asked if I'd like to join him while he watched all the hopeful punks show their stuff. Of course I agreed, I mean I've always kinda liked baseball. So we walked _hand-in-hand_ to the field."

"This hand?" I nibbled her thumb, she playfully jerked away.

"And then…" She gestured wildly. "He says, oh isn't that your husband on the mound? On the mound with the speed gun pointed at him. On the mound trying out for the Seattle Mariner's Rookie League… you know, nothing else to do on a Friday afternoon in July."

"Yeah, then what happened?" My hands slid under her ass and scooted her to the edge. She wrapped around my neck, rubbing her nose along mine.

"Then… I saw this tall, sexy guy throwing some fast stuff. I saw... the love of my life being so brave… I saw my husband doing his very best… for us." She whispered softly.

"Baby…" Our lips crashed over, tongues tangling. Bella tensed slightly, palms against my chest.

"Your dad is standing behind you," she breathed at my mouth. I turned quickly, as Bella hopped down, smoothing out her short dress. "Hi, Dr. Cullen." She kissed him on the cheek and disappeared, leaving us surprised, sharing a rare smile.

"I'm hearing 90-91," He said casually, clearing his throat. Resting large, aging hands on the waist of his blue scrubs, his stance relaxed.

"Okay. Good. That's what I was shooting for."

"It's obvious Billy's hitting your slider hard. It looked… incredible." He slid his dark shades down, to avoid. "Well… I need to get back to the hospital. Bella said it was an emergency when she called." He laughed lightly.

I forced my hand towards him, he met it firmly. "Thanks… for being here."

~BtU~

Her ass peeked just beyond the open fridge door. I snuck behind, caressing as she reached for a glass pitcher of lemonade. "Hi, baby…" She melted as I held her tight, back to my front.

"You can't wear this purple bikini to Emmett's birthday party. His friends are just…" I whispered against her smooth neck. Thumbing over her hardening nipples, she pushed back, teasing through my thin, black swim trunks.

"Mmmm… it's the only one I have. And _you_ picked it out." Turning in my arms, she tugged the leather chain around my neck, lower. "Quit making excuses. You need to get out of the house. We need to go have some fun."

I narrowed my eyes and twisted my mouth, releasing the top tie behind her back. "All I _need_ is for you to bend over this counter and…"

"Oh, really?" Biting and sucking at my bottom lip, her fingers traced the trail of hair on my abdomen. "The party doesn't start until two, we could... maybe do _something_ to calm you down…" She offered with a naughty smirk. Groaning, I threw her over my sore muscles and playfully slapped her ass. Just as we rounded the corner the kitchen telephone rang. I froze, she gasped.

"Hello…"

"Lookin' for Edward Cullen." I stifled my laughter to recognize the voice. Bella tickled at the edge of my shorts as she hung down my back.

"This is Edward." I squeezed her thigh to quiet and still.

"Well, well… Mr. Cullen… I've been waitin' to talk to you since you were about sixteen years old, son."

Twisting the cord of the simple wall phone, I listened close, balancing the only thing that truly mattered over my shoulder. She strained to hear, to understand, as my hand trembled over her warm skin. Talk of speed and talent, promises, decisions and places to sign rattled on.

"Thank you. I really appreciate this, sir."

I set Bella carefully on her feet within a breath and leaned back against the old pine cabinets. Staring at her peach painted toes wiggling impatiently, I blew an exhale into clasped hands, absorbing the implication of the call and watching her bounce. "Who was it?" I met her anxious, wide eyes. "Tell me!"

In a sudden rush of adrenaline, I buried my fingers into her loose knot of hair pulling her close. Confusion… excitement... beautiful brown eyes sparkled with realization. She covered her parted mouth with her hands as I nodded silently.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Leaping, she wrapped her legs around my waist.

She squealed, smiling wide, wrinkling her sun kissed nose. "I'm so proud of you." Sloppy celebratory kisses wet my neck, ears, and forehead. "Oh wait, what was that about bending me over…"

I carried her towards our bedroom, laughing… full and so, so humbled. "I love you."

.

**A/N**

**Thank you for reading xo **

**Thank you FFpassion and Obsmama for your incredible support and insight, huge love xx**

**Any and all bicep mention is dedicated to our sweet friends Saint Kristen and emilyg80**

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**An epi full of happiness will be posted over the weekend. **

**We are so grateful for your messages, we love hearing from you...**


	4. Epilogue

**_Beneath the Undertow_**

**_Epilogue_**

The steep stairs to our new condominium were lined with painted clay pots full of geraniums and begonias. I quickly surmised Bella was quite busy while I was away for three games in Montgomery. Southern summer heat saturated the night air as I made my way through the front door. "Babe, I'm home," I shouted gratefully as my large team duffle hit the cool foyer floor.

"Edward," she squealed. "I'm in the tub." Smiling, warming at the mere sound of her voice, I quickly kicked my running shoes off and tossed my tangle of keys on the kitchen bar. Shady images, black and white… familiar but not, drew me in. Small, yet significant glossy paper held me still and tense. Ovals and arrows, numbers and names, our baby waiting, developing and growing and there, here… ours. The shiver I couldn't shake suddenly had me braced against a tall, black painted barstool. Then a note, spiral edged, jagged and torn written in bright blue permanent marker brought me forward.

_Mommy's impatient. Please don't be mad. I'm healthy and cute and have boy parts…_

Bella moved down the hallway, tying a loose bow across her short, white cotton robe and swollen middle. We stared, she anxiously chewed her lip. A natural glow from warm bathwater and pure happiness lit her porcelain skin. "Hi."

"Hi, yourself," I said quietly, closing the distance. I held the evidence of our love and future out and in front. "You just couldn't wait, could you?" I teased. She turned, tearing towards our bedroom, bare toes bolting across earth toned tile. Giggling louder as I caught closer; we landed gently on our bed.

"You're not mad are you?" She snatched the sonogram pictures, thumbing over them slowly, lost. "I couldn't help it. Dr. Weber offered at my appointment this morning." We laid back, holding _him_ over us.

"No way."

Pointing and detailing, she shared the reality of everything we'd hoped for. "Isn't he pretty…" Nudging my tight, tired arm playfully, I caught her in a soft kiss. Deepening, our lips desperate, a cathartic and silent release of love. "He's going to be okay…" She whispered at my mouth.

"Yeah." I pushed her dark waves, slightly shorter, from her beautiful face. "It's a boy…" She nodded, smiling the reassurance _I_ usually gave.

"Oh, I have two exams next week and study group on Sunday. I don't know if I can come out to watch Sunday night," she pouted sympathetically.

"I'm just throwing balls. You need to study." Rolling her eyes and smirking, she pushed my t-shirt up and off. I reactively opened her robe, needing to feel. As I smoothed over her growing tummy, she fell back, sighing.

"I like your balls…" Grinning against her sweet skin, we laughed together. Her fingers began their habitual dance to ease the ache. "How's your shoulder?" Though barely edging the pain, I melted at her soothing touch.

"This may be it, baby. Double A, the minors might be the end game."

"You don't know that. Hey…" Cradling my face, she searched and smiled. "They've already moved you up once." My drive had waned, wanting made me weary. Bella and I already survived forever and a day on love. Our only true need was each other, the baby reminded us of that…

I rolled her hip, urging to the side. Dusting hair behind her freckled shoulder, I left a wet trail of kisses along the most gorgeous arched neck. Rough, battered fingers ran the outside of her soft thigh as her ass teased, rotating against my hardening length. "Yes?" Tugging her earlobe with my teeth, hands slid beneath and between.

"Mmmm… yes. I missed you," she breathed, tipping her head. She grazed and tasted along my jaw with warm lips, tongue. Making love was our magic… our quiet moment of perfect in the wild rush and effort of life.

~BtU~

"Where's Mommy," I asked, settling Sam on my lap. Taking the end of a bottom bleacher, I searched for Bella in the sea of flat, dark graduation caps. The small community college commencement packed an even smaller Southern Baptist gymnasium with proud families. I craned and focused, shifting our almost year old son to balance on strong, busy feet.

"There she is, Sammy. Look... Look at your smart, beautiful mommy." I pointed, Bella waved. Glowing bright with excitement, she beamed confident. I blew a kiss with his small hand in mine to reciprocate. Bella smiled, wrinkling her nose watching Sam wield his wide green-eyed charm on the elderly woman next to me. I smoothed his dark curls over and back, smirking against the top of his head.

"Excuse me, are you… Edward Cullen?" A young, blond haired boy tugged at my white dress shirt from the aisle stairs. A man, I assumed to be his father, kneeled behind him, holding a thick black pen.

"Yeah, hey buddy. What's your name?"

"Jason," he mumbled, staring at my hands.

"We were at the ball game last night, but missed the warm-up autographs," the father explained, chuckling.

I felt over my pockets with one hand, corralling Sam with the other. Grabbing a spare program off the bleacher, I penned a short message, while my young son climbed over and around my shoulders.

"Thanks a lot," the father said with a masculine handshake and a nod. "Hope you're enjoyin' it here in Jackson. You doin' the kids pitching camp again this summer? Jason's finally old enough."

"Yeah? Well then I guess we'll see you on the mound." I offered my fist for a friendly bump as they walked away.

Eight years and some days since the last time she held a diploma, she grasped the new one a little tighter. We had a glimpse into more, into plenty… settled and thriving in a small community, a place we found, a place we made. Slow and measured since our Sam was born… we savored. Life was uneven, no promises… we'd practiced and learned. We knew exactly what we wanted to take away…

**a/n**

**Thank you for reading xo**

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**_Outbound_, our multi chapter love story will post in late summer. The first chapter will be included in the Fandom for Sexual Assualt Awareness charity collaboration. Please take a peek at the gorgeous teaser video Jaime created on our profile page. **

**And so it goes... our young loves are set and settled, loving and living. Please say hi or farewell... xxoo **


	5. Tread  An Outtake

_**Tread**_

**Outtake**

_**from Edward**_

"I haven't seen your folks in over a month. What… since signing day?" Coach shuffled past, rounding the desk. His large, sun damaged hand splayed against the door, shoving to close.

"Dad's been working like crazy since they added that new hospital wing. He's taking Mom to Portland this weekend to visit my grandmother, though."

"Well, I know how it goes working too much. Second job over at the timber mill's killing me… but we do what we gotta do." His voiced trailed, somber. He knew hardship deeper than my father. Hard spring rain pounded the athletic office window. Ramble of freshman prospects he planned to preen filled our usual Friday afternoon sit down.

Stretching, adjusting to the ache in my shoulder, I noticed Bella peeking through the doorway crack. She bounced on the heels of her plaid rain boots to see and focus. I toed it open further, Billy's voice faded into the background. I winked, coaxing a small smile… barely.

"Edward…"

"Yeah?" Sensing my distraction he pulled the door back, grinning suspiciously. Bella offered a short, humiliated wave.

"There she is," Billy teased, gesturing. "Come in, come in." She moved quietly, teetering on the arm of my chair. "Bella, how are _your_ folks doing?"

"Okay… they're okay, I guess." I nudged at the flat response. "They both work nights now, so I don't see them too much." Billy nodded sympathetically, sighing.

"I bet they're proud of our boy here… letter of intent to UW and all."

"Sure. Yeah, definitely." She forced a smile, I knew. "We all are." Roughly mussing my hair, she shifted to stand, seemingly anxious to escape.

"Alright kids, out you go… let's get the weekend started. See you at practice, Edward."

Bella paced a measure ahead. Tugging her backpack, I slowed her to stop. "Hey…" I smoothed my hand from her back to her neck, gently stroking. Her eyes darted around the hallway as it cleared. "What's going on?"

She blew a deep exhale and quickly kissed my cheek. "Nothing, just tired."

"You've been weird all week. Talk to me," I urged. Her mood was unfamiliar, constant. She looked down, her muddy boot lightly stomping over mine. I lifted her chin, our eyes met. "I know what you need…" I smirked with a suggestive brow. "And we've got my house to ourselves for _two_ nights." Rolling her eyes, she smiled, warming. "I can take my time…" We startled as the school janitor rolled around the corner.

"Come on." She pulled at my grey varsity t-shirt, biting her lip.

"That's what I thought," I whispered at her temple, crushing her playfully under my arm as we headed through the double doors, into the storm.

~BtU~

"So you two get to play house all weekend?" Seth teased, sinking into the dark leather sofa next to Lauren. My hands tightened around Bella's waist. She sat oddly tensed in my lap, peeling the label on a full beer bottle. I tickled along the waist of her jeans, pulling her tighter against me. Nuzzling a soft kiss at the base of her neck, she squirmed.

"Oh, Bella, did you do that roommate preference thing on your housing application for next year?" Lauren asked.

"No… I haven't gotten that far yet. I'm still waiting on financial aid stuff." She shrugged, distant. "Guys, I'm going to go lay down. I've had a wicked headache all day." A lie, I wondered. Her hand slipped from mine as she stood. Seth and Lauren shifted. "No, stay, keep Edward company… seriously."

"Is she okay?" Lauren whispered as Bella disappeared up the stairs. "I totally saw her crying in the library."

"What… when?"

"Yesterday, I mean just a little. Maybe it's something with her parents. My dad says her dad's a complete asshole."

"He's not that bad…" Distracted, I collected take out boxes.

"Alright man, go take care of your girl. We're gonna knock off," Seth said, offering a casual fist bump. "Lifting early tomorrow, right?"

"I'll be there. Hopefully my fucking shoulder will settle down." I stretched, his eyes narrowed.

"Don't fuck around, man. You still gotta earn that fancy _full_ ride."

"Yeah, yeah…" He waved in response, walking down the driveway, jumping behind Lauren as she squealed.

I pulled my t-shirt up and over as I moved up the stairs, lightening, thunder still punishing. Softly opening my bedroom door, I found Bella curled under the down duvet. I worked the buttonfly down on my jeans, dropping them on the carpet and climbed in behind her. She melted as I wrapped around. Long sleeves and sweat pants, I fought to find my favorite flawless skin. "Why are you all covered up in here?" I trailed my nose along her neck, nipping as my hands gently wandered.

"'Cause I'm cold, it's cold… it's always fucking cold here." Tasting, tugging on her earlobe, I waited for the reactive quiver. Instead, she turned suddenly in my arms. "Hey, let's just go. Let's run away…to Florida. It's never cold in Florida. We could just disappear."

I tucked dark strands behind her ear, processing. "Babe, what's going on?" She buried, I cradled protectively. "You better tell me." She shook her head, hidden. "I think its lack of sex." I flipped her over quickly in jest, hovering. Pressing my thigh at her center, I hoped. "Feel good?" I leaned catching her lobe with my teeth, tugging gently. She reactively ran soft hands around my neck, her fingers smoothing slowly, then turned away. "Come on, Bella. It's been days, and we've been looking forward to this." I forced her gaze, stroking my thumbs along her jaw. "I'll go slow. There's no rush tonight. And you can even scream." A gentle kiss, she arched slightly, the faintest giggle. "I'll do that thing you love…" A naughty smirk, I grazed lips at her temple.

"You will not…" A brief challenging smile morphed into a deep exhale. Ignoring the anxious implication, I tucked under the duvet, lower.

"I will. And you'll love it, like you always do." I peppered teasing, wet kisses over and around her navel. Gripping my shoulders, digging nails, she twisted.

"Stop, Edward… please. I'm just not in the mood," she pleaded.

"Okay… okay…" I fell, defeated. "But you have to promise all out drunk sex tomorrow night," I joked, pathetic and frustrated.

"Hold me?" Her voice fragile as she rolled back on her side… away.

"You know I will." Tangling legs, she held tight to my arms around as we drifted.

~BtU~

I felt before I heard… warm hands, fingers feathering through my hair, soft lips at my forehead. "Edward, are you awake?"

"Mmmmm, I love when you do that." My voice and head heavy, but so appreciating her touch. "I am now." She guided my head to rest on her chest. The storm still raged beyond the dark windows. I ran slow patterns under her shirt over her bare stomach.

"Do you think we'll ever have a house like this?"

"Do you _want _a house like this?"

"I…I don't know."

"Well…" I gazed up, her eyes sleepy. "If everything goes as planned... I'll be able to give you _everything_ and _anything _you want."

"What is this _plan_?"

"Well… UW, then probably, hopefully… the majors... the Yankees… a big church wedding… then three boys and one girl." Her fingers dug and pulled, she shivered fighting tears. "Okay, no Yankees. That's right you want to move to Florida." I laughed lightly, but regretted as she heaved.

"Bella, please… Baby, tell me what's wrong," I begged, sitting and grabbing, desperate. I quickly turned the lamp low next to the bed. Her tears were furious, she worked over her flushed cheeks with trembling hands.

"Edward… I'm late. I didn't get my period yet and you have a plan, and you're supposed to play baseball, and we're going to school and I might be pregnant…God, I'm so sorry." Stunned, my heart plummeted. I brought a fist to my mouth, stifling. _Pregnant. _

She leaped off the bed, tugging at her hair, biting her nails. "Calm down, Bella. Fuck." I stood to hold. "Did you take a test yet?"

"No, but I'm always so regular."

"I should have realized. Shit, baby. I've been so in my own fucking head lately. All these college scouts…" Dread settled low and fierce.

"I was afraid to buy a test anywhere in town, everyone fucking gossips, if my dad found out… god and your parents…" She sat, suddenly so frail and pitiful. "We aren't always careful, Edward. I'm not blaming you, but like in your truck the other day… you were so amped up and horny after that game. Remember?" Panic, fear ignited. I braced, pulling her back to me. She brushed her wet face along my bare chest.

"Okay… shhhh…" I soothed, steadying. I glanced at the bedside clock. Pulling away, I framed her face. "Listen…"

"What are we going to do…" She interrupted, hysterical and terrified, I tightened my grip.

"Listen to me. We're going to drive to Aberdeen, they have a twenty-four hour drug store. My dad calls prescriptions in there after hours. We need to know for sure. Tonight."

I drove just over the limit in silence, save for the rattle of Bella's window. She stared into the darkness, legs tucked. "Come here." I gestured. Sliding over cautiously, she curled into my side. "Buckle your seatbelt." The rain slowed, dancing across the windshield as we barreled down the two lane county road.

"I'm scared."

I leaned to kiss, whispering against her forehead. "I know. I'm here."

~BtU~

Weary from the hour and reality, we stumbled back into the house just before dawn. The stiff brown paper pharmacy bag crackled under my grip, echoing through the foyer. Bella stilled at the bottom stair. I turned, our eyes met. "It's okay." She shook her head, stepping back and away. Dropping the bag, I pressed her to the wall. We stared within a breath, dusting my thumbs under her jaw, calming. Our lips brushed, soft, sure. Reminding, we were us… The next touch a little deeper, our tongues swirled slow, brief before I pulled back, nipping gently at her lower lip. "I promise, it's okay," I mouthed, she nodded, twisting a fistful of my sweatshirt.

I waited, she disappeared, the bathroom door closing behind her. Resting forward, knees supporting my elbows, reality loomed. My worst fear realized in hurting Bella. I promised our first night, never would I hurt her. A life, trophies and wins surrounded and menaced. Surrendering to the weight of worry, I fell back on my bed. Staring at a blank ceiling, I prayed silently… selfishly.

"Should I… bring this out here?" I sat immediately; Bella was frozen in the doorway holding our truth. I held my hand out to her, urging.

"Come sit down. How long do we wait?"

"A few minutes," she mumbled, as I pulled her into my lap. She rested her head against mine, damp eyelashes brushing. We breathed, lost in our own thoughts and wonder, but still, always rooted in each other. I rubbed over her back, caressing, supporting tenderly. The moments would forever impact our lives, our parents… defining us. My scholarship… my pitching, Bella… I squeezed, lacing our fingers.

"Hey," I nuzzled. "We're going to figure this out together. I love you, Bella and this doesn't change anything."

"I don't deserve you, Edward." She shook her head, gasping through her fearful sobs. I kissed her gently, once and again then glanced at the clock.

She opened her palm…

~BtU~

"Is there room for me?" My mother's voice startled. I scooted further down the white painted bench with a brave smile. "No sign of her yet?"

I gazed down the pebbled drive of the church into an autumn sun and shook my head… _no_. Reactively, my mother wrapped her arm around my back, gently squeezing the perpetually pained shoulder. She stared at the same quiet driveway. "Well, there's plenty of time. Pastor Black's not in any hurry. Especially on a Friday afternoon…"

We sat warmed by a late September afternoon, an Indian summer day of sorts. "Thank you for this… for everything else too. I know Dad gave you a lot of crap. He's disgusted with me. And I know… this is last thing you want to be doing… today… or ever…" She sighed, smiling so calm… a pillar at the most unexpected time.

"Aww. I think we would have been here doing this one day… You're going to be wonderful parents, Edward." I scoffed and shrugged. Falling slowly into a new confidence wasn't easy for either of us. "You know why?" I met my mother's kind, giving blue eyes. "Because you love each other… and because you want to be. You want to be good parents, together."

"I do love her, Mom." We waited quietly, as some soul settling moments passed.

Eventually, I sat alone running idle hands though freshly trimmed hair. Native pines and oaks rustled in a cleansing breeze. I unbuttoned, loosened my dark tie slightly and lingered a finger along my collar. A rumble in the distance, my heart raced. Bella's Honda finally pulled forward, too fast. I met her with an open door. "Why are you alone?" Full cardboard boxes, running shoes, books and a pillow littered the back seat.

"Hello, you look handsome," she greeted, forcibly giddy, ignoring my concern. We embraced, pausing over lips. I smiled against hers, tugging the thick waves down her back.

"Answer me," I insisted, as she smoothed out her short white eyelet dress. I pulled at the yellow sash hanging over her swollen belly. "Where are your…"

"Do you like my dress?" She beamed, blushed and natural. "I actually feel kinda pretty."

"That's why I picked this one. You look beautiful." I held her close, swaying barely. "Where are your parents, Bella?" I whispered at her ear. Pulling back, she straightened my collar avoiding my stare.

"We had a fight." I reactively kissed her forehead, cradling the back of her head. "They aren't coming."

"Okay. That's okay." We held hands, moving towards the small church entrance. I would forever remember her courage in that moment. "Mom's inside with Pastor Black."

"Good. Let's do this."

"Yeah, let's…"

~BtU~

The small, brass bell chimed at the door of Olympic Oven. Bella returned from her car, hurrying towards our small round white iron table in the corner carrying a large, wrapped gift. "For you." Falling into her chair, she leaned close, eager and glowing.

"What's this?" I teased.

"A wedding present."

"From who?" I was relentless, she pinched.

"From your _wife_."

"Oh. Really? Okay then." I pulled thin, blue ribbon as two slices of butterscotch cake arrived. Bella leaned, gorgeous face resting on her hand, watching. Lifting the top of the square box, I grinned surprised. "This is really great, babe." Smoothing over the black leather collectors album, she blushed.

"You really like it? I wasn't sure which one to get. I know you have hundreds of cards. Maybe you can use it for only the valuable ones. I don't know. This was just so beautiful. Like something that would last forever. You know?" Pulling, dusting wanting, grateful lips, we sighed.

"Yeah… I know," I whispered at her parted mouth. She narrowed her eyes, realizing. We laughed… cathartic, together.

"You're a cheese ball. A sexy, silly cheese ball."

"So, are we supposed to feed each other the first bite of this or what?" I held both forks, digging at each slice.

"We can do that… as soon as Kate pastry puff whatshername quits staring at you." Rolling eyes, I forced a bite.

"Shut up."

"What? She is," Bella mumbled full, wiping the corner of her perfect mouth. "She's been drooling over you since seventh grade."

"I didn't notice. I was too busy staring at another girl."

"Who?" She played along, cleaning her plate.

"Do you want the rest of mine?" Considering, she tightened the sash above her pregnant tummy, twisting her mouth.

"No, I should probably watch my girly figure." Wrinkling her nose, dark eyes danced.

"Hmmm. Speaking of that… you know…" I nuzzled, ignoring the curious customers. "I haven't seen your hot, girly figure in a very, very long time."

"You see my bare, giant belly every few weeks at the doctor." Oblivious, she dove in to finish my slice. I blew gently below her ear, sucking lightly on the tiny pearl drop.

"No, baby. All of you," I hushed, she shivered wide eyed.

"Well, you're in luck." She tasted, nipping at my top lip. "It just so happens to be your wedding night, so…"

"Excuse me, did you need anything else? We're locking up now," Kate interrupted, studying.

"Thanks. No, we're finished." I stacked our plates, sliding.

"Did you guys just get married, for real?" She scoffed.

"For real," Bella mouthed sarcastically, thumbing over her ring finger. I squeezed her knee, smiling at Kate politely.

"We did, about an hour ago."

"Wow. Congratulations. I mean I knew… well everyone knew about the baby _obviously_… but…" My arched brow quieted Kate's nervous nonsense. Bella stood, clearing her throat.

"Edward, should we take something for your mom and dad?"

"No, they won't be there." We moved to leave, her warm hand in mine. Stronger together, weathering the obnoxious glare... "I have a surprise for you." I grabbed my wife's ass for Kate's entertainment as we walked through the door.

~BtU~

She led, I followed…. moving from room to room as the sun set, silently awed. She took in the simple furniture, warm and ours. "Well… what do you think?" I wrapped from behind as she stared through the picture window in our new bedroom. Her head tipped, rolling.

"It's too much. We can't pay for this."

"It's ours. Free and clear. We have to do the rest, of course. But they wanted to do something to help."

"They?" She turned in my arms, challenging, knowing.

"Fine, my mom…my mom wanted to do something. This house was just sitting empty since they moved my grandmother to the center in Portland. So…" I shrugged, sliding my hands up, tangling through dark waves.

"She's done so much already… the doctor, the ceremony… all we've done is let them down." Teasing thumbs over her cheeks, I leaned lower, capturing a tender kiss. She gripped my waist, balancing close was new and different. I laughed lightly against her lips.

"That's enough of that for now…" Tilting, my tongue made a wet path along her jaw, before gently tasting the sensitive skin below her ear. "Can we… Are you ready?" A faint moan, she nodded slightly. Trailing up her arms, around and down her back, I searched for a row of buttons. She caught my mouth, a kiss more insistent. Tugging my tie, she quickly pulled the half windsor free, letting it fall to the wood floor. Working my buttons open, I still fumbled. "What the hell, baby? How do I get this off you?"

Giggling, easy and painfully perfect, she lifted her arm pointing to the small line of cream buttons down the side. "It's fancy and pretty. Remember, _you_ picked it out."

Growling, frustrated, I batted her away playfully. Finally sliding the eyelet down, I knelt briefly. As my hands moved along curves, I pulled her panties down. Caressing over the swell of our son, I glanced up. Our eyes met, knowing. "God, you're amazing. I…"

Cupping my chin, she urged me to stand. Pushing her thin straps off her shoulders, she quivered as I stared. "I love you…" She breathed. I shook my head, overwhelmed. Where we were, before and then... I traced the shape of her lips as she tugged open my dress pants and pushed my shirt from my shoulders.

My erection evident, strained against the fabric of my boxers, Bella admired with a lip habitually caught in her teeth. I turned us closer to the bed's edge. I pushed my boxers down and away, freeing, stroking over and again before sitting down. Lacing her fingers in mine, I pulled her between my legs. "So how do we do this?"

She reactively covered her belly, shaking with laughter. I stifled mine to taunt. She covered her mouth, wide eyed. "I'm sorry." Soft hands tugged, gently through my hair. "But god… you're right, Edward. It's been too long." She crawled up and over as I pushed further back. Placing legs on either side of my thighs, she inched forward, my cock between. Framing my face, she rested her forehead at mine. Eyes fluttered to close, we just were… intentional in the moment. Dusting my forehead with soft lips, the most gentle kisses, then my nose, over my eyes, finally my mouth as I fell flat. Lifting her hips, reaching between us, she grasped and positioned. We breathed, staring through the connection. She gripped the pillow beneath me, testing, rotating.

"You okay?" I smoothed up her soft thighs, fighting the impulse to thrust, to rush.

"Mmmm, it feels really good… I just, I'm not sure what…" Desperate, innocent in the different, we adjusted.

"Hold my hands." Support to move, to swivel… I stared as she took control, with a slow rise and fall. I reveled in the sight of pink flushed skin, small gasps and that smile… worshipping and grateful.

Needing… she braced behind, fingers digging into my thighs for leverage. "Baby…" She begged, I knew. While she found a comfortable rhythm, pace quickening, my fingers wandered over fuller breasts. I rolled and swirled fingertips over her tender nipples, as the familiar, delicious burn began. "Please… Please, Edward."

My other hand worked lower, rubbing and circling. "Bella…" I whispered as her rocking became erratic.

"Yes… God, yes." Withering over me, moaning softly, she peaked… beautiful. I thrust up, taking over, guiding. My hands trembled at her hips, as I tipped, furiously pulsing as we stared.

Our breathing slowed, she lifted, falling to me. Purple, golden light and shadows set from the early evening illuminated the space. "How was that?" I asked as she tucked under my arm.

"Intense." Feathering patterns across my chest, she laughed.

"You've laughed so much today, it's good to hear." She propped, I pushed damp, wild hair away from my favorite face.

"It's better than all the damn crying I've done the last six months. I've been so annoying." Wrinkling her nose, she cringed.

"Understandable… and I'll take you either way, if we can keep doing _that_," I teased wide-eyed. A slug to my arm, a wet, sloppy kiss on my mouth… we smiled, exhaled. "I have to work tomorrow to make up for today."

"I know." Facing each other, angled on sides, our fingers lay laced between. "How would you feel about me working at the high school? I mean after the baby's born. Mrs. Hale is apparently retiring."

"That could be good," I sighed. "I know it's not what you want to do. We're going to get you into that nursing program if it kills me."

"Quit thinking about that." She rolled, staring away. "Lauren called yesterday… from UW."

"Yeah? What'd she have to say?" I forced her back, warming my hand over her cheek.

"Wishing us luck for the wedding. That's all. Telling me about her dorm room and a concert…"

"Were you jealous?" I wondered, worried. She shrugged, honest.

"A little… maybe. I don't know." Our sated glow faded, ever so slightly. "Aren't you? Be serious." I paused, measuring carefully.

"Sure. But, Bella, it is what it is. We're here. They're there…" She suddenly smirked, tickling, attempting to salvage the mood.

"And… Lauren doesn't have the two best guys in the world, but I do. So I win." Our hands stacked, soothing over our baby. "He needs a name."

"Yes, he does. Hit me with some… I'll repeat them in my best stadium announcer voice. Just, you know to see how they sound."

"Oh god." She laughed, falling back covering her eyes.

"What? Don't think he won't be on that practice field everyday. I've got big plans for him."

"Well I don't care what he does, or plays… as long as he has your heart." Silence and thought, we burst… hysterical. I pulled her close, licking and tasting swollen lips.

"Now who's the cheese ball? Hmmm?"

"Stop it. You do have the best heart, Edward." Running my nose along hers, I cradled all that was mine. "I love you," she breathed.

"I love you, too. And I really love these and their new… _shape_…" I teased, appreciating every inch of plumped porcelain skin. Kissing shoulder to fingertip, ankle to thigh in the quiet and peace of our small borrowed home.

And so we'd forge forward, resilient, resolute. Together, we'd navigate the unknown… the new, tending naturally, deeply… always.

**a/n**

**Thank you for reading xo**

**Sweet thanks to Obsmama and FFpassion for the best support and love. **

**Infinite thanks to ange de laube for her mad creative, graphic perfection. Please see the incredible blinkie she made for Beneath the Undertow. **

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**So just a bittersweet peek into where they began… **

**We appreciate your thoughts… **


	6. Breathe a Futuretake

_**Beneath the Undertow**_

_**Futuretake**_

_**Breathe**_

"Sammy… _Sammy_…" I tucked deeper into the blue painted, cement block dug out, as our son ran full force towards the fence and an excited Bella. Holding a new, leather glove against his forehead and dark mass of curls to block a setting September sun, he listened, shrugged and smiled wide.

I tickled, whispered over our baby girl's freshly pierced ear, as she stretched against my chest. "You're mommy's about to give me hell, Gracie." Bella's silly, sloppy kisses through the chain links left our son bolting and shrieking with his tiny teammates. She laughed, fingers tapping lips… expression blissed, proud. Mothering suited, flowed easy. Suddenly, she spun and stalked. "And… here she comes…"

"Coach Cullen… I see you cowering in there." Hands met perfect, lightly curved hips. Her work scrubs worn, loose, wrinkled, but I knew and lived for what moved beneath. I held our daughter, irresistible, sweet face forward with a splayed hand across in defense. "Why is my son playing the outfield?" She demanded, I scoffed.

"Mrs. Cullen, I rotate _all _the kids."

"But he's the best pitcher you have. He has no business weeding the outfield, staring at the clouds."

"Mrs. Cullen, he's five years old, he needs the experience of playing each position, they all do. And that's my call as the coach. It's just fall season t-ball."

"You know his father was a minor league pitcher."

"Yeah well, I hear his father has recently retired and spends his days reading alphabet board books and taking walks and doing laundry." She lowered, peppering Grace with her very best love.

"Kiss me…." Playful, wide open, our lips met once, then again, slower. "Gimme this baby bug…"

"How was work?" I wondered, stepping backwards hanging a small, black bat bag.

"Long. Sorry I'm late, I got caught up in an admit."

"Taking her home now then?"

"Yes… I think she's inhaled enough of this hateful clay and dust and little boy sweat." Bella nuzzled, blowing raspberries against a toothless giggle. "I need to finish packing the kids stuff and call your mom. We have to leave early for the airport, you know..." We edged closer, she nodded, prompting. "So…" I knew and tortured.

"_So_…I can't wait to get you alone… our own cabin in the north woods…" She stomped slightly, narrowing eyes in frustration. "Oh… so, I did hear from the suits in Seattle."

"And…"

"And, offer's on the table. Contract's ready for signing while we're up there."

"Edward…" She fisted my white jersey, tugging tight. "Mister regional scout for the Seattle Mariners... Oh my god. Okay, come kiss me goodbye out by the bleachers." Arched brow, I scoffed, challenging.

"Why?"

"See those two dolled up moms at the top… _staring_… _drooling_…" I glanced casual, they beamed. "I've had enough listening to their fertile fantasies about Coach Cullen and his _fine ass_… They've somehow forgotten you're married."

"Shut up. Come here…" I framed her sun kissed face, pausing, grateful… always. "I love you." Forever words tickled her waiting mouth.

"Love you too… _madly… baby_…" Winking, waving Gracie's hand, she moved quick, a sass and sway, mumbling loud for other's knowing…

~BtU~

Snapshots… quiet moments, days, years… I savored the morning light and view through my childhood window. Nestled in dense pines and nostalgia it was time and again to clear our minds and ready our hearts for yet another transition.

"Hey."

"Hey, yourself." I mirrored her suggestive smirk, laying the last in our duffle bag, prepping for phase two of the rare trip and chance. "Where are the kids?" She wrapped, burying into my naked back.

"Your dad's giving Sammy a play by play of your shoulder surgery." Lips dusted, whispering along damp, freshly showered skin.

"I'm sure he's riveted."

"He is. Kicked back on the counter with a white peach pop and his new baseball cards..." She tasted, tickling wet with her tongue. "And your mom's just staring at the baby."

"Sounds familiar…"

"They're headed to the park soon. I'm telling you... rotten monkeys when we get back on Monday… _Monday_," she sang. "Three whole days…"

"Can you stand it? You've never been away from them this long."

"I'll try. I'm sure you can distract me if I get sad." Warm hands slid forward, lower. The sage green towel dropped to the floor.

"What time can we check in?"

"Four…" I reached behind, pulling, falling to comfort.

"God, _this_ _bed_…" She teased wide eyed, straddling. "The same one, you think?"

"Definitely. There's that weird dip… right there." I reached, pointing, arm stretched over and long, sensation and ache dull, new.

"Be careful, baby." I palmed her thighs, squeezing grateful for the warning.

"I'm good. I need to get it moving."

Wrinkling her nose, then smiling wide, she brought my hand to her mouth, grazing lips over my knuckles. "Remember the first…" Tongue clicking, sassy, she teased.

"Of course." I tugged, she nibbled, my thumb trapped between her teeth. "I was a fucking wreck." She giggled, biting harder.

"You were not. You were _smooth_… trying to be so romantic." Angling, she pursed lips, pouted sarcastically. "Your mom's red Christmas candles… And wait, what was that music you had…"

"_Trying_… Shit. Shut up…" I rolled my eyes, smacked, pinched behind and flipped beneath. She melted over, blowing heat, soft along my raw, healing scar.

"No, no… you were sweet. I was the luckiest virgin ever." Shifting on our sides, we stared, lost, memories, each other… always. She leaned near, as I tucked dark waves. "Seems like forever ago, doesn't it?"

"I guess." I eased open the button, zipper on her jeans. "But… you're still the hottest thing in town…"

"You say that because you're required to. Look…" She narrowed, pointing to the corners of my favorite dark eyes.

"What am I supposed to see?"

"Wrinkles… from a thousand years of squinting into the sun at the field."

"A thousand years… please…" A hand smoothed lower, under, as I kissed where lashes fluttered. She growled nonsense, twisting through hair below my stomach.

"My beautiful baseball widow." Feathering a parted mouth along her jaw, nudging her to tilt, I continued a sweet assault to hush.

"I'm an old, married lady, Edward." Suddenly rolling, melting over, she gestured fingers held to count. "_Twelve years_…" She mouthed silent, dramatic to tease.

"Happy anniversary…"

Pausing, she breathed, "I'm glad you're still mine." Slow, our mouths met, she sucked, tugged. "You wanna see my old lady tits?" Laughter balanced any and all fever we faced and weathered, our center. Righting, relentlessly rocking denim over my erection, she quickly pulled a thin plum sweater up and off. I reactively arched a brow, thumbing over cream lace.

"Mmmm… These are definitely not old lady tits, baby." Sitting to meet, unhooking and tossing, I whispered close. "And now I'm gonna fuck my _old _lady like the _old _days…" Squealing, she crushed her mouth to mine, tongues worked, wanting.

"God… wait, that's really bad…" She edged back, hands stroking through my still damp hair. "Maybe you should serenade me like that night… what was it… _If you're asking … do I love you… I do…_" She mocked, I flipped, trapping and warning playful.

"You think you're so fucking funny, don't you? If I remember correctly… you wanted me to cut my damn hair like that pretty boy singer… because he was _so gorgeous_."

"I think _you're_ gorgeous."

"Yeah? Even though we're old and married and…"

"Kiss me…"

"Always. But take off your jeans first."

"Yeah? Now… here?" Sliding off the bed, she tugged and obeyed, forever eager. She hurried towards the door, locking it with my favorite naughty grin.

"Are you excited? You're kinda reserved."

"What?" She giggled, pulling off her jeans, licking her lips. "I'm always excited about having sex…"

"About the job." She curled deep into my lap, forehead resting against my jaw, as fingers tangled tight.

"I'm in shock."

"Why?"

She traced my lips with the lightest touch. "Because it's perfect. Something good. Something we want, and honestly, I'm afraid to even blink… " She tucked tighter, smoothed over my chest.

"Well, it's real and happening, just like this…" I guided her hand over my growing erection under the towel. I ran along, dipping under the edge of her cream cotton panties.

"We _cannot_ have a serious conversation… We're just not capable."

"Of course we can… After we fuck… " Laughing loud, loose… no weight or worry…

I dusted dark waves over her shoulder, smirking, smoothing warmth along her neck. Sweetest moans begged, as I nipped and tasted. I barely caressed _her_ small scar below that defined and set motion to who we were. "I love you." Every tender touch there, over, reactively prompted the most important words.

"I love you too, baby." Sensitive eyes trailed up to meet, she righted, to take off the rest and all… and after so many years, so much history…she still took my breath away. Hands skimmed, teasing from shoulders down and over my abdomen. Pushing down, stepping out, I laced our fingers, pulling her again, not a measure between. Taut nipples grazed, she shivered and purred as my hands dusted up her graceful neck to frame her face, thumbs circling blushed cheeks. My tongue ran the hollow of her throat, dragging, wetting the smoothest skin. Breath heavy, I groaned through parted lips, "You like that, don't you?" Words, knowing the next, brushed and teased near her ear.

"Yes… more… I want more." I gripped her thigh, opening against me. The heat overwhelmed as she pressed closer. My cock slid through, we gasped. "There… Edward…" Rotating, she dug fingers to steady as our mouths met desperate, panting. Tilting my head with a rough sweep, tugging the ends of my hair, her thumb feathered across my lower lip, dipping in. Hands tight at her hips, I swirled and sucked as lashes fluttered.

A soft path moved low between, fingertips firm, rubbing over my throbbing cock. My head fell to her chest, watching, shivering ready as her hand worked up, down and again, a little rougher with every pass. "Baby, don't get too carried away…"

Nibbling lips and knowing smiles, she mouthed, doe eyed dramatic and naughty... "Sorry."

"Bella…" I tightened, fingers digging rough in the flesh of her ass. She reactively angled, lifted and lowered, taking me fully inside. We held gentle, foreheads pressed, breath shared.

The slowest, sensual rhythm and pace, we loved. I caressed, palming the swell of each breast, lower to lick and swirl her nipples. "Oh, god…" Paced perfect, harder after each rise and fall, she searched. I welcomed the burn low and deep as she tightened. I supported, strong grip behind, stroking thrusts as she tipped and surrendered. Long waves, dark, mussed strands dusted my thighs as she rode and worked. "You're beautiful, baby… That's it…"

"Edward…" Louder, desperate, her arms tight around my shoulders as she rocked deeper. I guided firm, pumping beneath harder and again, as she floated. Eyes locked, mouths parted, I came… dizzy, pulsing.

"Fuck… Fuck, I love you… so much."

~BtU~

"What do you have?" She pointed, twisting her mouth, pounding palms over the bed. "We aren't doing gifts, Edward. Our airfare, the cabin was…" I crawled up the bed, kissing swollen lips to quiet. Settling her back against my chest, I held a bottle of beer around and to her mouth. "_And_ your surgery…"

"Drink, relax." Nestling us in the down duvet, I laid a wrapped package in her lap. "It's just a something… _something_…. Mom helped me." Arms crossed over her bare chest, she sighed stubborn. "Knock it off, baby. Open it…" She paused, silent. I angled her head with a strong, splayed hand under her jaw. "Open. It." Tugging her bottom lip between my teeth, I gnashed playful, brows raised.

"Fine. But if it's wonderful and expensive I'm going to divorce you…" She mumbled perfectly pissed and gorgeous. I smirked, anxious as her fingers slid through the taped edges. "Then you can run off with one of those damn t-ball mothers… like that blonde one that wears the pink sunglasses. I swear she's taking pictures with her phone."

"Yeah… of her son…Will you please stop…"

"Staring at your incredible ass in those stupid shorts you wear…" Orange paisley wrap fell away. A delicate hand slipped over her mouth, the other trembled along the lines of the simple black frame. "Oh my god… Edward."

I sipped deep to steady, then leaned to set down the bottle. I shifted, holding tighter, wrapping from behind, my cheek smoothing over hers, fingers rubbing patterns in her shoulders. "We look so fucking young."

"We were…" Her voice faint, rattled and surprised. The framed image in her lap was time past, stilled. Young life wide open, captured devotion by a golden September sun on a small country church porch. "Is that how you stare at me when I'm not looking?" _Yes. Always. Awed and grateful that you chose me, we chose us… and Riley… _"Look at my belly, Edward." She traced the angles and curves over the glass, voice quivering through a deep exhale and cathartic giggle. "It looks weird and so huge…"

"It's just looks big because you were smaller then…" A groan, an elbow slug was the very reaction I wanted. "Joking…I'm joking. I've loved all your baby bumps and pounds." Eyes glistening and narrowed, we eased with fun and banter.

"You need to stop, Edward. We're headed to the middle of nowhere for three days alone. I swear, I will walk around naked and not let you touch if you don't stop." I pinched and poked beneath the covers, sneaking lower before the punishing grind and tease of her bare ass against my groin. She held the photo towards me, tone and mood calm. "Sweet baby boy… he would be in the… fifth grade. Wouldn't he?"

"I guess so." But I knew and fought the sting.

"He and Sammy would have been best friends… I know they would have."

"Probably so…"

"And he would have protected Grace from the boys…"

"What boys?" I flexed in jest. Bella scoffed, rolling, teary eyes.

"Boys like you were… God." She brushed gently, cupping my chin. "This is the best." I swept lips over hers, she curled closer… forever in the absolute present. "I'm proud of you. You're going to be amazing at the new job."

"I'm excited, babe. It feels really good." I smiled at her temple. "But… you have to decide…"

"The where…"

"Yep… We've got our pick. The scouting region is wide. It doesn't have to be here."

"Can we stop in a few places this weekend…. Tool around, check out the local toy store…" I chuckled, she turned. "What? That's important shit. The rest is easy…" Winking, kissing patterns along my bare chest, she glanced down, thumbing over the image again. Dark moments dulled, no longer draining the next. We'd found the more and best in each other, and plenty of love for the forward...

**a/n**

**Just a quiet peek and farewell...**

**Thanks for sharing with us one last time. We really, really appreciate it. **

**Obsmama and FFpassion make it all better, each and every time. Love xx **

**Wonderful week ahead to you xo**


	7. Never Let This Go a Futuretake

_**You were given this life because you were strong enough to live it - unknown**_

**_for Katalina. _**

_**from Bella.** _

"You awake?" I whispered. I kissed, peppering and dusting over my favorite tanned, toned shoulders. I wondered too far, worried too much. Late night, early morning, Southern sounds, unfamiliar bugs and birds always waking, leaving me anxious. "Edward… hey…" Hands drifted, gently over his bare stomach, a little lower, I breathed. The quiet hours found me floating somewhere between excitement and fear. "Love you…"

"Hmmm…" He stirred, stretching. I nuzzled behind, molding, fingertips tracing.

"I can't sleep," I mouthed over warm skin. "Talk to me."

"Okay…" He reached, angling to hold, reassure. Lips to my temple, my cheek, tucking deeper into our pillows. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything." Turning, shifting beneath cool sheets, he swept wild, overnight waves away from my face and stared.

"The baby?"

"A little… I guess…" I shrugged slight, he sighed.

"Come here." He pulled me over him, we struggled smiling, the moon easy and full, filtering through second hand sheers.

He worked up and under the worn cotton covering my belly... our baby. His fingers gently skimmed stretched skin, pushing the fabric up. He teased under and along my breasts, as I tugged the shirt up and over. My nipples hardened as I grasped his tired, calloused hands, squeezing tighter and begging for more.

I whimpered as hips rocked against and his hard length teased.

"Is that good, baby?"

"Yeah... "

He righted and leaned back slightly, pillows propped along the headboard as I moved languid, loving. His hands roamed still over my skin as his eyes roamed my body.

"Quit staring at me like that."

"Shut up, I'm admiring the view." His tongue trailed over his bottom lip, I nipped it gently.

Cupping my cheeks, slow thumbs traced my cheekbones as his tongue slid into my mouth. The kiss sensual, always, then deepened desperate. We pulled, breathing heavy, his nose slid over and down my jaw, my neck. Warm breath soothing trembling skin. I tangled my hands into his hair, needy, closer but frustrated at the impending distance between.

I lifted to my knees over him as he gripped his cock, the tip teasing. I slowly lowered, as his head fell, rested at my chest, a hiss and hot mouth peppered grateful.

"Fuck, you feel so damn good."

I rocked, rotating and adjusting to the fullness as Edward let me set the pace.

I rode him slow, lifting myself just enough to grind against with each movement. His hands roamed my body, teasing my nipples, skimming over my ribs and settling at my hips, fingers digging into my ass, pulling me tighter back against him with each movement I made. I braced myself against his shoulders, as my clit dragged against him I felt my body and muscles tightening as my movements grew fevered. His thumb slid around my body, finding my clit... one touch, I exploded. My nails digging into his skin as my moans filled the room.

His fingers found my hips again, pressing hard as he held me in place and thrust against me. I watched as he reached his peak, his face awash in pleasure.

"Better?" he wondered, breathing slowed. I nodded my bliss, watching the shifting shadows across the popcorn dotted ceiling waiting for my heart to rest.

"Thank you for the diversion." I offered a wrinkled nose smile, wide eyes, turning towards. He slowly stroked down my cheek, over my mouth, I trapped his thumb in playful gnashing teeth. "I know I'm huge and heavy and ridiculous like that… on top." Grabbing his strong hands to cover, I hid, shaking silly.

"You're perfect. I'd like to keep you like this." He gripped my hip, rolling it closer, trailing up.

"Bullshit. I know you watch those hot ball dancer girls… seventh inning stretch hussy whatevers all nice and up close…" I pursed lips, winking.

"Shut up."

"You do. I know you do." I pulled him tight, close, biting the silver disk charm around his neck to tease.

"No, I mean _shut up_, those girls take our balls serious." He pinched, then smoothed down, around my ass.

"That's harassment, dirty pitcher boy. You go on and dream about their tight white shorts while I get some juice." I shoved, shaking my head in mock disgust.

"You're the one who called them hussies!" A pillow hit my head as I hurried, still bare.

"I'm just pathetically jealous of their youth and size, Edward. I can't help it. Plus they get to be near you when you're the sexiest."

"Oh yeah? When's that?" he shouted. I returned, sipping, climbing carefully back onto the bed.

"Sweaty. Hot. Rotating these." I ran soft fingertips over and down. He nestled back as I settled over again, offering the glass of sloshing orange juice.

"I've never dreamed about any other hot hussy in my life. You're plenty and more." He smirked, caressing, hands splayed over my thighs. "And… I know what you're doing."

"What?"

"Trying to get him moving."

"I'm thirsty, it that alright?"

"Worrying isn't good for you or him. So stop."

"I will," I mouthed a sarcastic promise. Falling near, I emptied the glass and smacked my lips.

"Liar." He propped, pausing to sigh. Pinching my chin tight, he leaned to kiss. "He's fine."

"Promise?" Honest darkness would overcome quick and fierce. It surprised me in random moments. An irrational sensation of imminent doom…

"Promise." Another kiss, deeper than the last… "We can do this." I wanted to drown in his resilience and belief.

"I know," I whispered against his hovering, open, gentle mouth.

"I'm here, baby…"

~BtU~

"He's seriously the cutest baby boy I've ever seen," she shouted over the swell of lady lunch nonsense. In my fresh baby moon daze, I couldn't place her face with a name or player husband, I quietly beamed gracious. "We all just love Edward. I'm so happy that you could finally come out to the ballpark too, Bella."

"Yeah, sorry to be so distant. I'm not really a joiner and I've been in nursing school and…"

"Oh sweet God look at that face. He's the most gorgeous thing." Helmets of blond and blonder approached, cooed and doted. Sammy slept peaceful, used to an ESPN blare of commentary, the stir of Southern twang, high and happy rang the same. I peeked beyond the dark green peeling steel edge of the box and stand, searching for my grounding. A flash in bright white and sunshine, he spun in speed and heat. _Edward. I need you. _

"Bless. I just miss that feeling of the first. We've got four now. But I won't forget those sweet nights we spent just simply amazed by the first. Savor it, honey." An older, attractive woman sat close, peacefully taking us in. A coach's wife, I wondered. _First_… it rolled on a loop through my mind, my heart. I released the fist of pale blue sundress I squeezed. Shifting the baby, snuggling him against, I rubbed my cheek along his.

"Our first baby died… _Riley._" It was done. Clarity and truth… I crossed the void. Sammy squirmed, tiny bare toes dug along my tender breast. Then her face, I watched it absorb. I felt it too. I traveled the conclusion with her as she processed.

"I'm sorry. I can't begin to imagine…"

"No, it's okay. But thank you…" _Thank you for letting me speak. For letting me be… _"I think I've needed to say that." I smiled, eyes damp. An odd and beautiful moment of catharsis, of understanding passed between this lovely stranger and myself. A subtle shift within, I squared slightly taller, breathing the baby in deeper.

~BtU~

"Oh hey, Mrs. Cullen. I'm done with him." The team doctor held the locker room door wide. "He's the only one left. Go on ahead in… I won't tell." A kind, sun wrinkled wink assured. I snuck down the benched rows, whistling, bouncing Sammy light in the plaid pouch over my chest.

"Edward…"

"Hey. Look at you two." His smile lit his tired eyes. His bare chest glistened, the edge of his shorts low and damp. He reached desperately for the baby, taking him quickly from the carrier. Three kisses from Sammy's forehead to his nose, he giggled wide eyed in reaction. "Come here…" he whispered, seeking a soft kiss from me, then more. He rubbed along my jaw, cradling Sammy one armed, close. "I'm sweaty." We smirked against open, silly mouths. I bit easy at his bottom lip, whimpering to flirt. "You like it… huh?"

"I do. I do…" I wrapped, needing, finding our courage and light again. "I missed you." We sat, he straddled the worn, scratched metal bench, staring endless.

"I wasn't far. Could you watch a bit?"

"Yeah. Yeah. I did. You looked good. How is it?" He reactively flinched, rolling his neck towards the years old damage.

"Not too bad. Doc worked it out some just now. But this guy… He makes it all worth it." He dragged his nose along Sammy's. Spastic, excited feet and hands flailed, tangling in Edward's chain and charm.

"I should nurse him before we head home."

"Sure…" A hand off, a nuzzle, Edward tugged me to sit in his lap as I nourished our baby. He kissed tender along my neck, cozy, holding us steady. "I love you."

"I know. How could you not?"

"I swear… you…" He nibbled, we laughed easy, pure and healing. _The best..._

**_a/n_**

**_Lovely Katalina requested a moment from these young, strong lovers. A fandom light and gift, she shares and loves every author in her sweet, special way. _**

**_Thank you for reading, being here and being you._**

**_Special thanks to ange_de_laube for the beautiful banner._**

**_Much peace always, xx p and j_**


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